


i. ii. iii.

by quietdays



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-03-25 00:08:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13822332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quietdays/pseuds/quietdays
Summary: in where jeonghan is a god, joshua knows too much, and seungcheol knows too little





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello.  
> we're finally beginning the first part of: "quietdays' weekend fic bonanza" in where quietdays (me) will try to write a lot for four days straight.
> 
> blease wish me luck
> 
> working title.
> 
> (not edited nor proof read because im a hoe)

and then it finally clicks.  
  
ah.  
  
so this is what he's been missing for most of his life.  
  
...  
  
i.  
  
the spirit world is a lawless place. a wolf's den in sheep's clothing.  
  
the being called yoon jeonghan knows that. after all the first time he woke up in the spirit world, he was killed right away. murdered in cold blood, wasn't even given the chance to take in his surroundings, understand that he's now cursed to live forever.  
  
the next time he wakes up, he kills for the first time. ends up vomitting on a tree afterwards, and then vomitting again after he takes the stuff of the person he just killed. telling himself over and over again that the guy will wake up again like he did, that he won't stay dead for long. that he really hasn't commited murder and his hands aren't really stained with the dark red of life.  
  
so he goes on his way, wearing a dead man's clothes and using a dead man's weapons.  
  
god, it feels so wrong.  
  
...  
  
it takes him one week and particularly a lot of close calls with death (and in these days jeonghan learns how to kill before someone notices his presence with such cold efficiency that some days it scares him) before he finally reaches the palace.  
  
the spirit king, an old man with a grim face sitting on the throne, welcomes him with a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes.  
  
"welcome to the spirit world being yoon jeonghan, god of knowledge." the spirit king tells him, barking out a laugh as if there is a joke that jeonghan doesn't know. "welcome to hell."  
  
welcome to hell.  
  
yoon jeonghan knows he won't stay in hell for a long time. not if he can't help it.  
  
...  
  
on the road to the spirit palace, a place where yoon jeonghan for some reason feels inexplicably tied to, a place where he knows he has to go to or else every death he has caused is all for nothing, jeonghan meets a boy.  
  
no more than seven years old. he looks familiar, like jeonghan should know who he is. but he racks his memory, he doesn't know who this is--he doesn't know anything aside from the fact that his name is yoon jeonghan, he is god, and he should be in the palace now.  
  
"are you going to the palace too, sir?" the child asks him and jeonghan does not kill him. he is a kid and that is the one line he will not cross. "my parents also are going! but they left me behind to see if it's safe."  
  
"oh?" and jeonghan knows with such clarity that the child's parents either left him behind for their own safety or are dead.  
  
"yeah!" the child sighs. "oh well, i shouldn't keep you here! mom and dad would be angry if they find out i'm keeping a busy man like you from the road!" and then he smiles at jeonghan the way only children can smile, naive and innocent and pure happiness. "see ya in the palace sir! i have to wait for my parents first!"  
  
and then jeonghan makes his way to the palace. ignores the nagging feel in his stomach.  
  
...  
  
(and before the night falls, despite knowing it's stupid and futile, jeonghan goes back to the place he finds the child. thinks that maybe he should ask the child if he'd want to accompany him to the palace. it surely is safer like that.  
  
he comes back and he does not see anything but a severed hand, blood stains and a piece of cloth he saw the child wear.  
  
jeonghan feels himself breaking.)  
  
...  
  
(he does not leave until after he buries the severed hand and cloth. does not leave until he finds flowers to put on the makeshift grave. does not leave until he sends out a few prayers for the child.  
  
he knows the kid will wake up soon, no one ever really dies in the spirit world. the people jeonghan has killed in the mornig he sees sometimes in the night.  
  
he still feels like he killed the child though.)  
  
...  
  
ii.  
  
the hong family keeps the dead alive.  
  
sure, these white american families they're neighbors with looks at them weird whenever they burn incense or whenever they start their morning chants for the dead but the hong family has the important job of keeping the dead alive. keeping them from ever truly dying.

this is a burden and a duty that's been passed through the ages. joshua's mother does it for her father and her ancestors. soon enough when she dies, joshua will take over the role of burning incense, offering prayers, and appeasing the dead.  
  
it's okay if the white families side eye them when they go out to buy groceries, or when the kids at highschool spread rumors about how he probably fucks dead bodies in his spare time or how the spiritual wannabes try to talk like they know what he's doing and attempting a crude and offensive copy of the hong family traditions.  
  
it's okay.  
  
joshua is used to it.  
  
besides, he's doing a great job of keeping the family tradition alive that every night when he sleeps, he dreams of things he already knows. gains knowledge of his past lives. gains the knowledge that somewhere out there are two men that kisses him in different ways but with the same kind of love. kisses him everywhere  and he holds them the same way they hold him.  
  
so he studies the hong family traditions more, learning korean better than he ever really needs to the point that his mother is actually impressed and proud of him.   
  
"even better than i could ever do." joshua's mother pats him on the back, giving him a kind smile after he reads her tea fortunes. "i'm happy you're so interested in our family heritage, shua."  
  
and at this point he's too embarassed to admit he's doing all of this for a chance to meet these two men that has lit up the fire of his soul in his previous lives.  
  
...  
  
(the dreams begin like this.  
  
the being he calls yoon kisses the human he calls choi. and shua starts to become shy, his face turning red as he watches something so intimate, so raw, so passionate, with the knowledge that he is able to join them. that he doesn't only have to watch.  
  
so he joins them.  
  
he embraces choi by the back, caressing yoon's face as he does so. next he helps remove the robe choi is wearing after yoon stealthily unties the rope binding it together. choi does not care, his left hand is too busy roaming yoon's body while his right trying to draw shua even closer than he can possibly can.  
  
yoon stops kissing choi and presses a chaste kiss to his forehead. choi whines, but soon enough shua takes over his lips and it sends a jolt towards his whole body.  
  
"such an impatient boy." shua hears yoon tell choi with an amused tone, making him whine. "don't worry, we'll take care of you, isn't that right shua?"  
  
and shua smiles and stops kissing choi for a moment. he takes it as a chance to marvel at how utterly wrecked and needy choi is and he's so excited at the thought that it was him and yoon who made him like this. that they get to unravel him thread by thread and they have the whole night to do so.  
  
"right you are je--")  
  
(and joshua wakes up from his dream even before he finally finds out what their first names are. he looks down and groans in his bed as he realizes he has to do laundry in the morning again.  
  
for the third time this week.)  
  
...  
  
if he writes yoon and choi so many times in his notebook in hangul, then that's his problem. if he doesn't pay attention to his teachers to just elect about dreaming of the two men of his past lives. he wouldn't be so hung up about them if it weren't for the fact that he keeps seeing them everywhere.  
  
not only in the dreams his ancestors give him, in all the past lives he can remember (in ancient korea, joshua was a server to prince choi and yoon was his closest adviser. as a korean settler in japan, choi was the owner of the korean grocery shop while yoon was a part-timer in the library there. the war--which war? joshua doesn't care to remember, there's been so many wars in his lives--where yoon was a doctor, choi was a soldier sent to die and joshua was just a messenger. he doesn't like the war.), but they start to bleed in real life.

he almost got suspended one time he shoved the vice principal out of his way as he tried to follow yoon's laugh--something he recognizes even after how many centuries? how many years? (he gains new friends after that incident though, new friends that isn't friends ith him because they want a smart asian friend or just likes the exoticness joshua apparently brings about or friends that just wants joshua to write something in hangul for him.)  
  
still, he keeps an ear and eye out for them though. an ear for yoon's laughter, an eye for choi's tear stricken face.  
  
he writes their names in his notebooks, as if a charm and he starts to dislike the world even more.  
  
...  
  
iii.  
  
(fire. there is a fire and seungcheol no longer knows what to do---  
  
he is so scared. so scared, he knows he's going to die, be burned alive and eaten by this voracious flame, and he just can't help but think that if he will die because of a coup d'etat, he'd rather die in their arms. in their arms, in their--  
  
wait who are they?  
  
the scene changes. this time a counter. he's a grocer and it's such a slow day. he can count on his right hand the number of rude customers he's already had and he just wants something good to happen.  
  
he looks at the clock after every other minute and his feet are already tapping impatiently. they're late and it feels weird that he's this annoyed when normally he won't even get angry when someone is thirty minutes late. but they're different.  
  
suddenly the bell chimes ring and seungcheol smiles so big as he knows who they--  
  
who are they?  
  
he's hurt of the nth time this week and he's just waiting for the doctor and the messenger to come. the messenger because he knows he'll be sent to the front lines again and the docror because this bullet wound really hurts. seungcheol knows he'll die by the end of the month but it's okay. at least he met them--  
  
but who are they?)  
  
...  
  
seungcheol wakes up from his dream. his head hurts, and he is crying already. his heart is empty and he yearns for something so badly that he cannot help but hurt, he cannot help the sobs that comes out of him as he clutches his head and heart.  
  
his mother hears his sobs from the other room and comes in with a knock. she takes him into her arms and starts shushing him comfortingly.  
  
"cheol, cheol. what's wrong? a nightmare?" she asks and seungcheol cannot do anything but nod.   
  
he sleeps in her arms that night and when he wakes up there is seaweed soup ready for him on the table alongside his favorite side dishes. his head and eyes hurt from a night of crying.  
  
it hurts so bad and he can't do anything about it. he doesn't even know who his heart yearns for so badly.  
  
...  
  
choi seungcheol has been friends with lee jihoon ever since he was born.  
  
how could they not be? seungcheol and jihoon's mother were the bestest of friends during college and they even got married around the same time. when seungcheol's mother divorced his father, it was jihoon's mother who opened her house for them for a few months until they could get back to their feet. now the choi family and lee family are neighbors and are as close as ever.  
  
so it doesn't come as a surprise that jihoon visits seungcheol the days he cannot bear to go to school because of the dreams (it hurts so much, too much, he can not even bear to move from his bed). he comes and drops the stack of notes and homework seungcheol missed today.  
  
jihoon goes over to seungcheol's bed and checks his temperature. he frowns in disappointment.  
  
"you're hot." jihoon states a matter of factly. before sitting down on the bed.  
  
seungcheol attempts a weak smile. "i appreciate it jihoon but i don't like you that way! you're my brother, my favorite dongsaeng."  
  
jihoon narrows his eyes at him. "you're luck you're sick or else i've already kicked your ass twice now." he sighs and lays down on the bed and seungcheol's form. "i had to deal with your adoring fans today."  
  
"yeah?" seungcheol says absent-mindedly. "whaddya say?"

"that you're sick. what else should do i say?" jihoon sounds annoyed now. "'oh sorry choi seungcheol isn't here because he keeps having these gay dreams about two boys that makes him literally sick.' like that's gonna fly well with them. actually now that we're in this topic, why don't you actually fucking do something and stop being so useless with your love life huh?"  
  
seungcheol laughs out loud. "if we're talking about useless, should i ask how chan and soonyoung are doing then?"  
  
he does receive a punch in the leg for that, and seungcheol just laughs louder than before. this whole thing is almost making him forget the how hollow his heart feels right now. (he'll usually bounce back from this after one day and not feel the loneliness this extreme but now, he's sad--far too sad. he feels like he'll break.)  
  
they go quiet after that. too quiet that seungcheol starts to think jihoon's dozing off on his legs so he starts shaking it. jihoon groans and seungcheol stops that. he needs the rest.  
  
"i don't know who they are." seungcheol says. "that scares me a lot jihoon, i don't care about the deaths i see in those dreams, i just--i don't know them and they're already breaking my heart."  
  
jihoon stills for a moment. he adjusts himself so he's now beside seungcheol. he smothers himself in blankets and closes his eyes.  
  
"it's okay seungcheol." he says, and his voice is laced with sleep that seungcheol has to stifle a laugh. "i'll beat them up the moment you see and get to know them."  
  
and jihoon sleeps. soon, seungcheol follows.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi im alive
> 
> shhhhhhh
> 
> this doesnt make sense
> 
> i really want to finish this story. its been sitting in my drafts for at least a yr now. but isnt that the same for my other stories. aaaaa my head hurts.
> 
> unbeta ed and all that stuff. dhhffkfkf
> 
> please enjoy

i.  
the thing about the spirit world is that it's the worst fucking thing yoon jeonghan has ever had the pleasure of being in. (not that he has a lot of things to compare it to seeing as he doesn't remember anything but still--the thought counts.)  
  
firstly, let's start with the big elephant in the room--what the fuck is he supposed to do with the title as god of knowledge? what's he supposed to do, huh? sit around look smart? jeonghan can barely even remember what happened before this whole ordeal started. do they really expect him to attend to his godly duties right away when he just got out of a lion's den only to be thrown away to a much more dangerous den of tigers? this is all too much--is there a manual for this?  
  
secondly, the people in this spirit world life? not the best kind of people. legitimately not the best kind of people. (actually, are they even human? do they even count as human when they don't have any basic decency or empathy? jeonghan shivers. some of the servers told him it's because of the isolation they've had from the rest of humanity and because of the fact that well, they're immortal. you're bound to go insane with immortality. he sure as hell won't end up like this if he has anything to say about it. his mother taught him better.  
  
wait.  
  
he had a mother?)  
  
(flashes of brown hair sprouts into his head and jeonghan feels the beginnng of a migraine form. this is too ridiculous. this is far too ridiculous.)  
  
but the people! the people here.  
  
god, he's only met three gods so far and he already wants to go jump to hell and beg a real god out there to go ahead and take his life for real. how in the hell is this palace able to stand up when the rest of the gods are either hiding or missing or plain... incompetent?  
  
let's do a recap on who he's met: the asshole managing the whole place who jeonghan would like nothing more than to be able to choke to death if he could. the young god, radiant and shining brightly, that's always beside the god of life, can do no harm, can do no evildoing--infinitely better than the rest of them (which begs the question, how did he end up beside the king?), too pinned down by the king to be able to actually do anything. and a sweet old lady who's far too... cruel and far too ditzy to be anything but a walking disaster (doesn't help that she's blind and the palace changes its interior every thirty minutes by its own volition).  
  
this has got to be the worst kind of punishment ever and jeonghan doesn't even know what he did to have this kind of punishment. how is he expected to atone when there's no one even explaining anything to him?  
  
which brings him to his last point, his last and final point: how in the hell did he get here?  
  
jeonghan sits and ponders. that's what the young god--seokmin? jeonghan can barely remember anything now with how fast the bits and pieces of the universe's knowledge being recover in his head--said should help with him organize everything. it works but it doesn't work the way jeonghan wants it to work.  
  
he can tell you about the siege of the choi palace, before korea became korea. he can tell you about the wars that seems so far and yet so near--isn't there a war right now? wasn't there a war before?  
  
jeonghan tries his best to remember but he can't remember anything about himself. he can tell you about everything, how the universe was created, what the universe is made out of, but for some inexplicable reason, he can't tell you anything about himself.  
  
the servers, people who's been here since the beginning of time and hasn't lost all rational thought yet because they actually visit the human world now and then, tell him it's normal. that his memory will come back soon and later. they tell him to forget about it for now and actually focus on his godly duties. jeonghan, never been one to ponder on stuff he can't control, does forget about it for a while.  
  
for a while.  
  
...  
  
the courtyard has been bustling for a while.

jeonghan's only been here for a month or two but he knows that's something new. he peers over his own window, trying his best to peek out and find out what's happening but it's no use. there's a lot of people and a lot of movement.  
  
jeonghan frowns. he's been avoiding trying to leave his room for a good reason, he really doesn't want to meet any more gods if he's really being honest. (and, if he's really being truly honest, he's just lazy to go down). he looks forlornly at his door before deciding that this is no behavior for a supposed god of knowledge and he really should find out what's happening.  
  
he stands up, goes out of his room and he doesn't even make it ten steps out of the corridor when he bumps into seokmin.  
  
"seokmin!" jeonghan lights up. out of all the gods he's met, it's him who he likes the most. "it's rare to see you out and about!" (what he doesn't say is: it's not usual for you to be not tied down to him.)  
  
"i know." seokmin smiles at him in the miserable sort of fashion that it seems like all light around them has dimmed down. jeonghan suddenly feels like a jackass. "but, he's busy now--you know? because of the issue with two gods and a god to be. he has to deal with that so, i'm free for a while."  
  
"huh? what issue?" jeonghan's brows furrow, looking confused. "is this what's causing all the ruckus in the yard?"  
  
"you don't know?" seokmin genuinely looks surprised. "the king finally confirmed the missing gods! it's been the only thing everyone can talk about!  
  
"except for me, i suppose." jeonghan says dryly. he leans closer to seokmin, an effort to listen better. "what happened?"  
  
seokmin looks left and right before leaning in as well as if the information he's about to say wasn't already commonplace. "two gods kidnapped a godling undergoing his trials! miss love's godling no less!"  
  
"the blind woman's godling?" jeonghan tilts his head, confused. "why would anyone want to do that? that's far too cruel, especially to miss love."  
  
"some people are saying it's two gods who felt vindicated by her." seokmin sighs and shakes his head. "such a shame to, the godling was supposedly about to pass his trials when they suddenly disappeared. i guess miss love will have to wait another millenia before she can die."  
  
jeonghan nods along and seokmin says his goodbyes. they part ways and jeonghan goes back to his room; he doesn't need to look at the courtyard board anymore. not like he cares about the missing gods anyways.  
  
although.  
  
jeonghan stares at the wall in front of him. slowly by slowly, a plan starts to form.  
  
ii.  
  
"i hate this!" hansol suddenly barges into his room with the most disgruntled look in his face and immediately makes his way to plant his whole body on joshua's bed. his pillow makes it way to cover the younger's face as he screams into it.  
  
joshua can only look bemused. it's the first time he's ever seen hansol truly angry and even though he needs to be a supportive friend right now, he can't deny how cute it is to see the younger be so sulky.  
  
"you wanna tell me what happened, champ?" joshua spins in his office chair to face his bed. he's been doing important schoolwork that he's never really making any progress on so any sort of distraction is welcome.  
  
hansol makes a muffled noise, refusing to even face joshua. the older sighs, and  wiggles his office chair to be closer to his bed. He pats the younger's head in an effort to comfort him.  
  
"is this about the south korea trip your dad wants all of you to take?" joshua takes a stab in the dark. hansol screams even more into his pillow. joshua sighs. "you do know it's just going to be one month right? you'll still have the rest of your summer here."  
  
"that's not the point here!" hansol finally takes off the pillow from his face to talk to joshua. "the point is, they didn't tell me! what if i had plans? what if i wanted to go somewhere?"  
  
"do you have plans for the month you're going to go?" joshua asks. hansol turns silent.  
  
"no..." hansol bedgrudgingly answers, once again covering his face with the pillow. "but my point still stands!"

joshua wearily sighs. it's hard to deal with a teenager, especially a teenager angry at the rest of the world.  
  
"dude, it's just four weeks. you might even have fun?" joshua says, patting hansol's head. when the younger doesn't reply, he sighs again. "all right, what's this all about?"  
  
hansol pauses for a moment before slowly pulling the pillow down so that only his eyes can be seen. he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes.  
  
"i don't want to go." he says quietly. "last time i left, i came back to a completely different place."  
  
joshua feels his heartstrings tug a little bit. how had he forgotten that particular incident before he and hansol met? the incident that left him to be a loner for years before he's regained the courage again to befriend other people? the older brings a hand to the other's hair and ruffles it.  
  
"that's not going to happen, you know." joshua softly says. "i'll still be here. we'll still all be here. kyla's still going to be your science lab partner, samuel's still going to be your neighbor and i'll always be your friend."  
  
"you promise?" hansol asks, voice still muffled through the pillow.  
  
"i promise. like extra double promise." joshua smiles at him. "now do you still remember your korean?"  
  
hansol rolls his eyes, he's still sniffling a bit and his nose is still red but breakdown avoided so joshua considers this a win. "dude, i grew up there for like most of my life before we went back here. i should be the one asking you that question!"  
  
"yah! don't roll your eyes at me, i'm still your hyung!" joshua laughs at him. "now get outta my bed or move, i wanna sleep."  
  
hansol laughs and scoots over to make some space. joshua pats hansol one more time before joining him in the bed. it doesn't take long for joshua to sleep and for the dreams to begin.  
  
...  
  
("hong! hong! hong!"  
  
in this dream he is someone that is important to the palace. he serves prince choi, does he not? he serves prince choi and helps adviser yoon with everything. he is but a lowly messenger but it's okay. as long as he is with prince choi and adviser yoon everything is okay, everything is--  
  
prince choi approaches him, tears in his eyes. lately, that's how hong has been dreaming of him--that's the only face he's able to see of prince choi and he doesn't like it at all. he wants nothing more than to be able to wipe it off with his sleeves but he's only a messenger. he cannot touch him without permission and--  
  
"adviser yoon is dead." prince choi speaks, his voice trembling and his entire boney frame shaking.  
  
and what? has prince choi always been this tall? and when did it start raining?  
  
prince choi bends down, when on earth did he fall to his knees? how dare he force the royal prince to get on his knees--  
  
"it's okay." prince choi says with conviction that hong remembers that this is the next king. "it's okay."  
  
hong forces him to believe. it's proving to be hard considering how he still doesn't believe adviser yoon is dead.)  
  
iii.  
  
seungcheol is studying for his toefl when his beloved dongsaeng barges into his room without any warning.  
  
"jesus christ!" seungcheol straightens his back up in surprise. when he sees who it is he sighs. "boo seungkwan! knock next time, what if i was jacking off?"  
  
seungkwan rolls his eyes. "everyone knows you only jack off every friday night because you don't like spending your weekends pent up."  
  
"wait--" seungcheol flushes red. "how do you know that?"  
  
"not the point of my visit." seungkwan waves his hand as if he just didn't reveal something super personal that he shouldn't have any way of knowing. before seungcheol can protest, he continues. "anyways, hyung... do you not...love me? are you not... also good at english?"  
  
seungcheol calms himself down and try to move on from that particular revelation. you won't be able to get anything out of seungkwan when he's fixated on something. he takes another deep breath and returns to the conversation.  
  
"i'm not going to help you cheat on your english quiz." seungcheol dryly states. "not like i'll be able to."

"that's not why i'm here!" seungkwan flusters red. "i was going to offer you the deal of a lifetime but since you're like this, i'll find another english speaker!"  
  
"no! wait seungkwan-ah! you know i was jokin' right?" seungcheol grins a shit-eating grin at the younger. "now tell your seungcheol-hyung all about your once in a lifetime deal."  
  
seungkwan pouts at him but deigns to stay and sit on seungcheol's bed. he fidgets a bit with his hands before beginning to speak.  
  
"remember my b-boyfriend? the one from america?" seungkwan flushes red. when seungcheol nods , he continues. "well, his family kinda offered me a trip to go to them? mom agreed but i gotta get a guardian to accompany me. seeing as, you know, no one can go with me. my parents are all busy..."  
  
seungcheol looks at him, considering the offer.  
  
"all expenses paid! my mom is gonna pay for your ticket and my boyfriend's family agreed to house another person!" seungkwan adds and in a tiny voice continues. "please seungcheol-hyung?"

seungcheol sighs, not wanting to prolong seungkwan's torture anymore. he stands up from his seat and ruffles seungkwan's hair. "it's always a yes for my cute dongsaeng! i just gotta ask permission from my mom though."

the smile seungkwan gives him can rival the sun.  
  
...  
  
the thing is: seungcheol didn't only say yes to seungkwan out of the genuine goodness of his heart.  
  
he still would say yes regardless of the situation but in this case--he actually has a reason to go to america. the very same reason why he's been studying english with a fever that's brought him up to the top of his school's english subject was because of a dream. one dream he's had that told seungcheol a hint. a clue on who these mystery people are.  
  
seungkwan gets to meet his boyfriend in america and seungcheol hopefully gets one step closer to making these stupid dreams stop. one step closer to stop the aching loneliness he feels everyday.  
  
(god, if you're listening out there.)

**Author's Note:**

> @sebountin


End file.
